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Fat guys shouldn't do traffic reports, it sets a bad example (radio reports are ok).

Healthy people shoudn't climb mountains in the winter unless it's a stated suicide mission, it's not fair to the poor saps who gotta go risk life and limb to save them, then find out they had no intention of comming back.

If you are going to the woods, have a compass and a map.

I hope gas goes up to $6.00 an ounce, then people will be forced to learn better
ways to do things...or overthrow the government.

Xmass Toy drives are crap! kids need educashon.
Most christian religions are off shoots of a single train wreck long ago in Rome.

Once in Texas, my friend and I were watching the TV, he went out to his car to get something and was shot in the chest by a rival, at the same time (before I jumped behind the couch) the weather man had said it would be "All Clear".

An old woman with giant glasses, moldy skin and a stupid looking wig once actually laughed at me for looking like a clown.
I was going o have some tall bike video footage for you but when the "Helmet Cam 1000" I ordered showed up, it turned out to be a sex toy so I sent it back.

When non-military people salute anyone or anything, it reveals that they were and may still be bedwetters.